Feeding the Soul

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Have you ever gone on a vacation but found that you had a hard time slowing down…? 

I have. And I noticed it a few times this summer. 

We can sometimes be so task-oriented in our lives, trying to cram so many things into a short day or week — even if they are rich, meaningful experiences — that we can suffer from a lack of spaciousness. 

Spaciousness is that luscious time that unfolds naturally. In the unfolding, we have room to breathe, to create, to reflect, to have insights, and to really connect with whomever is nearby. I consider spacious moments to encourage creative and spiritual growth spurts. I connect with my truest self, and I and grow more deeply with family and friends when we have some lazy, unstructured time together. 

I also notice that the active, productive, movement-oriented part of me struggles with unstructured time. I get a little restless. I need a balance of doing, being, and creating, and I am appreciating and trying to listen to this more and more as I get older. 

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I talk with clients often about how those mini food breaks during the day (you know, the ones where you aren’t really hungry, but find yourself foraging) may sometimes be the sensory part of us yearning for some downtime. Something rich to eat might give us a 5-minute moment of bliss (goddess forbid we stop for more than 5 minutes!), but is that really what we are looking for? Perhaps what we really want is the richer taste of spacious time to do or be or make whatever it is that calls to us. We might not feel that we deserve those regenerative moments, but maybe we do deserve a bit of chocolate. 

What would it be like to fill up space with whatever calls to us in the moment — with what we really want to do, not what we feel obligated to do? Perhaps a few moments to sit meditatively under a tree, or look at the stars, or putter around the house, or write a letter or poem, or maybe even begin to prepare a more spacious and delicious, health-filled meal. There are other things that call to us besides something to eat. I have heard my clients and those in my groups talk quite a lot recently about the spiritual food and connection that we all really long for. 

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As I said, I’m not so good at this practice of spaciousness, but I am striving for it in my busy life of juggling family and work responsibilities. The summer is a fitting time to practice being a bit more spontaneous and slow. I recently visited North Carolina and wrote a poem, as a result of taking a few quiet moments with a (now dead) tree in the forest. I’m doing something I’ve never done before in this blog: I’m sharing a deeply personal bit of writing that I never meant for public consumption. The poem came to me in the spacious moments that followed my tree encounter. It was rattling about in my head for a bit until I took the time to write it down. I asked my family and travel companions specifically for time and space, both in the forest and later when I wrote the poem. That’s not generally something I’m great at doing, but I learned how important it can be to ask for quiet and creative space when it’s needed.

A couple of people that I trust told me that my blog readers might appreciate the poem. I hope you do, and I hope you allow yourself some spacious, open, creative moments this summer.

 

AWAKENING

There are many ways to kiss the ground, says Rumi. 

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I choose lying in the palm of the hand of Nature. 

So much more than a felled tree, 

I am cradled and filled with comfort that never came easily. 

Amid the clear spring water, the moss, the turk’s cap lilies, 

I took a breath,

then another,

And connected with my soul

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Because my soul is

the clear spring water, the moss, the lilies, 

the smooth bark of the supportive tree. 

 

After kissing the ground, I kissed a man. 

A bee stung me mid-kiss, as if to say, 

“No, my dear, not back to this world yet. 

Stay with us in the woods, 

stay with your soul. 

You need more work before you are ready to merge with another.” 

I must embrace my wise,

earthy, 

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watery, 

fiery, 

airy

Self

and feel that Self solidly connected with everything

like I did when the palm of the hand of Nature

cradled me close. 

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I became a tiny child and my wisest oldest self

and the smooth, supportive tree

At the very same time. 

 

When I feel the nudge of a bee, 

I respond by picking some plantain,

chewing it up, 

and drawing out the sting. 

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When I feel the sting of his words, 

I can turn to the plants and

not let the words hurt me. 

For the sting is not really about me. 

That little bee just wanted my attention. 

To share his not-so-sweetness.

That little bee just gave me his message, 

the repeat of a message I’d received in other ways. 

It’s time to forgive.  

It’s time to write. 

It’s time to let things bounce off and back. 

It’s time to sit in the palm of the hand of Nature, 

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Alone but not lonely. 

Then, 

only then, 

I will be ready for

kisses. 

 

Blessings on your summer, 

Heidi

 

Eat Clean? Detox? Lose that Winter Weight? Beware of the Nutritionist (or Anyone) Who Tells You What To Eat

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I have not been a regular blog writer this winter, and I am happy to say that I'm back. 

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My writing practice inhabited a more internal, quiet space this winter, as New England got deeply pummeled with snow. In my hiatus, I discovered something about myself. It was something I already knew, but I experienced this knowing more deeply: family and relationships are incredibly important to me. My energies went in the direction of my smaller soul community, while outreach to my larger community got put on hold. I happily welcomed guest bloggers’ unique perspectives (see past articles by Deanna D’Amore and Rachel Zimmerman). It felt good to decide to take a blogging break. But I also feel equally good about getting back to the writing practice that I love and that provides no-cost resources and inspiration to those of you who have been my regular readers.

Spring is unfolding, and the trend to hyper-focus on health and nutrition scares me almost as much as some of the discussion about the “obesity epidemic.” There is so much information out there, especially now with on-line channels, that it is staggeringly hard to make decisions about our health. The information on nutrition alone is incredible. It seems that everyone has something to say about what we should eat, even those that don't have any background in nutrition science or have any understanding of human physiology. And while my own work has become more and more holistic and creative over the years, my nutrition therapy practices stay grounded in common sense, compassion, research in behavior, and knowledge of how the body works to process and assimilate food. 

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Recently, one of my clients said, “One of the things I really like about working with you, Heidi, is that you never say that you know something about how to eat. In fact, you mostly say that you don't know.” She went on to highlight one of the pieces of our work that I think is most critical: I absolutely don't have the answers about what you should eat. I don't have the answers about what anyone should eat. And I'm not going to pretend that I do, no matter how much training I've had in nutrition. In fact, the one person who really does know what what's best for you to eat is YOU. If you listen, your body actually tells you. In my work with clients, I strive to help each individual find the style of eating that really works for them. And that often takes a lot of trial and error, listening, challenging, and practice.  

Now, if somebody has a serious eating disorder and they're either under- or over- feeding themselves significantly, there's no question that the relationship with food is out of balance. We also know that eating disorders are not just about food. Regardless, the ultimate goal, no matter how we need to move forward to get there, is about finding the style of eating that really works for one's individual body. No two bodies are like, and no two people likely need the same types and amounts of food at any given time.

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Please be wary of anyone who tells you that they have the answer for how to eat, particularly if that answer means eliminating whole types of food. Sure, allergies and intolerances are very real and worth sorting out. But the one-size-fits-all method of health and nutrition advice is just incorrect. The idea that we need to fine tune our diet (“clean” it up) so that it's perfect is also really incorrect and dangerous. Doing so  — worrying about every morsel that comes into our bodies and whether it is clean or not — can create stress and a sense of over-control that itself is rather toxic to our bodies and minds.

Yes, we are what we eat and it's important to eat health-giving food. I believe we should grow food that is full of the nutrients that our bodies need to thrive. I believe in making food choices that connect us to greater health because we are listening to what our bodies are telling us about how to care for them. However, the idea that we have to monitor, scrutinize, and perfect every morsel of food that goes into our bodies is the other end of the pendulum; it’s just as damaging as being mindless, disconnected, processed food eaters.

Spring Detox Nutrition Weight Loss

Take care of yourself. Take care of your wonderful body. Give it good nourishing food. Sit quietly with that nourishing food and feel it go down. Feel it sink into your tissues. Really savor and enjoy it. But don't run around and analyze every morsel you put into your body. Don’t (for a minute!) believe that one way of eating is going to be the answer to all your problems. Don't (for a minute!) believe that one way of eating is going to keep you disease-free. There are so many factors that can trigger illness —  stress and over-control included. Enjoy your days while you have them. The plain reality is that we are all going to die of something sometime. All over the world people eat in so many different ways and thrive. Find the way to eat that makes YOU thrive right now and helps you feel your best.

Find a way to really relax and enjoy food and the pleasure of eating. If you need help, I'm happy to assist you in this process, and so are many nutrition therapists oriented away from diets and towards more intuitive, mindful eating. We all need help with things that don't come naturally,  especially if we didn't learn how to tune in to our bodies from an early age.

As spring unfolds (and, wow, is it ever a big deal here in Boston after all the snow!), turn your faces up to the sunshine. Trust yourself and sink into that feeling of well-being that comes over you when you eat something that tastes and feels amazing. As the flurry of advice on how to detox, clean up, and drop that winter weight piles as high as the melting snow, I recommend instead that you listen to your own feelings and intuition about what to eat. No body knows better about what your body needs than your body.  



Eating Disorders are Like Compost: Trash to Treasure

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Okay, okay. I’m going to get a little corny this week. After the coldest, longest winter Boston has seen in a while, I’m feeling positively giddy about Spring. So, forgive me the gardening metaphor, but I think it works. This week I was digging around in my compost bin. I dug through layers of leaves, weeds, and scraps of food to get down to the nutritional gold: gorgeous, mineral-rich soil. Organic gardening is my dirty little hobby, and I enjoy seeing the miracles that come from layering goat manure from a friend’s backyard farm with compost made from egg shells, fruit peels, and wilted lettuce leaves from the previous couple of years.

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I was deep into my digging, feeling my connection to the earth and how good it felt to use my body to connect with it, when the theme for this blog post came to me. Here I was, taking all the food scraps that would normally be thrown into the trash and mixing them with other backyard trash (leaves, grass clippings, weeds). With the help of rain, insects, and heat, what once was trash becomes treasure. The end result, with time, is extremely healthy, rich soil that makes my garden grow. The vegetables and herbs that my daughters and I grow from tiny seeds in our sunny front yard each year come out of that rich soil. They are fed and nourished and flourish because I put my old banana peels and raked-up leaves to work for them. The food scraps go back to the earth and, in turn, feed the next year’s crop of food. The cycle continues. How cool is that…?

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It got me thinking, as I was digging through the kinda gross layers of not-quite-composted food to get to the good stuff on the bottom, that eating disorders are like this. (Bear with me here…) My clients with disordered and disregulated eating have a lot they struggle with. There is the food, weight, and body image issues — and there is all of the other struggles that go on underneath these (like trauma, shame, depression, anxiety, low-self-esteem, self-judgement  — to name a few). Working through one’s relationship with food and body, when those relationships have become challenged, is truly hard work. My clients do this hard work; it is not usually fun. But the outcome of doing this work is so worth it. Repairing your relationship with food, learning to love and accept your body and your Self, working through the issues that brought you to use food emotionally… it’s quite an amazing journey. In the process, you get to know yourself intimately, heal some wounds, and discover how to truly take good care of your body, mind, and spirit.

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Clients who have done their recovery work and really embrace their lives often write to me about what a gift their eating disorder was, in the end. Of course, they couldn’t see that when they were in the throes of it. Digging through the non-quite-composted layers in my bin, I encountered biting ants (ouch) and smelly things. However, with time and patience, those icky layers will become earthy gold: soil that produces new blossoms, ripe fruits. Sometimes we just have to dig through the muck to get to the gold. Sometimes we have to examine the parts of ourselves that we don’t like, the parts of ourselves that have been hurt or challenged or hidden. In recovery, we allow ourselves to be nourished with not only good food, but good company. We learn to water and feed and tend to ourselves in a way that allows us to realize our full potentials and give to others around us. In recovery, we take a dark time in our lives and grow from it.

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My clients are doing this every day. If I hadn’t had my eating disorder decades ago, I might not be doing this work that I love and that helps others find their own paths to wellness, healing, and hope. If you are hanging out in the icky layers of the compost bin (and we all have our moments with the worms, no matter how far along in our growth we think we are), know that it’s worth digging deeper and giving yourself time to get to the earthy, rich soil within. It’s worth getting dirty and getting grounded. Working through to that bottom layer brings the outcomes of good soil: creativity, growth, and ripe, luscious fruit.

(I hope my metaphor worked for you. If it didn’t, you can just toss it in your compost bin and compose your own.)

Feeding Yourself (and Your Family) Seasonally and Sanely

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Are you trying to eat mindfully, eat seasonally, and enjoy the pleasures of eating, but you just don’t have a lot of time to be creative in the kitchen? If so, I hear you... I love to cook, but I’m a single working mom and the reality is that I often have a half-hour to prepare dinner for myself and my family. Making nourishing, health-giving meals is important to me, but the realities of life mean that I’m not exactly able to ride the slow food train as much as I’d like to.

Over the years, I’ve collected some ideas for seasonal meals that work in my kitchen and the kitchens of my clients. When I say “seasonal” in November, I’m thinking autumnally, using fall harvest ingredients. Seasonal eating for us here in New England means warming our bodies with soups, stews, squashes, greens, warm grains, root vegetables like carrots and parsnips. Curling up on the couch with a bowl of warm soup and a soft blanket provides a sensory environment that feeds both our bodies and souls during the shorter, darker days of autumn and winter.

I don’t have true recipes to offer you with measurements and clear instructions (sorry to folks who like standard recipes) because I rarely cook with recipes when I’m busy... which is... uh, like, almost always! It’s wonderful to cook and enjoy the process of cooking. That in itself can be an act of mindfully caring for ourselves. But when you have a family to both feed and interact with -- and a small time in which to do that -- keeping it simple leaves room for the meal to be more relaxing, connective, and fun. Even if you are feeding just yourself, keeping food preparation simple and easy may just give you more time to eat slowly -- and to savor the downtime that meals provide with good, health-giving food.

Let’s start by exploring some of my favorite time-saving kitchen devices...

First, the pressure cooker. OMG, I can’t say enough about how I depend on this pot! I think every house should have at least one. In Switzerland, I believe that the average house has three. A pressure cooker allows you to cook brown rice in 20 minutes, white rice in 5 minutes, dried beans/legumes (previously soaked) in 10 minutes, squashes in 10 minutes, potatoes in 15 minutes. Need I say more...? If you want to make a stew, you can place raw ingredients and soup broth into the pot and cut your cooking time down considerably. I can’t say enough about how helpful this pot is. Well worth the expense of a good one that will last...

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Second, the slow cooker. I’m not a crock pot whiz like some of my mama friends. I tend to use this for two things: first, to cook whole chickens -- and then boil down the bones to make soup broth. The bones contain beneficial minerals, and studies have shown that good old-fashioned chicken soup is better for soothing and improving the symptoms of the common cold than any herbal remedy. The second thing I use the slow cooker for is to make oatmeal . Put in one cup of rolled oats (not the quick kind) to 4 cups of water in the evening before you go to bed. Add nuts, fruit (I like chopped apples), flaxseed, and other add-ins at night or in the morning -- depending on what floats your oats -- and you wake up with a warm, delicious breakfast all ready to eat. How wonderful is that?! I also know many busy working parents who toss ingredients in the slow cooker in the morning, head out the door, and have a warm home-cooked meal ready when the workday is done. Feel free to share some of your favorite recipes in the comments section below this post...

Now let’s talk about my Easy-To-Make Soup Template. You can make hundreds of different kinds of soup with a fairly simple formula and different ingredients.  If you’ve made some bone broth (see above) or have some prepared broth of any type in your kitchen, you can make a quick, delicious soup in no time. The key is having fresh, colorful ingredients around.

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Start by sauteeing some garlic and onions in a large soup pot with an oil of your choosing (I like olive oil for soup), add chopped carrots, parsnips, and/or celery and sautee further. I’m not going to tell you how much oil or onions or garlic to add, since part of the fun of cooking is figuring out just how much interests you. Depending on how much soup you want to make, dump in some broth and add a protein source to round out the meal: beans/legumes, tofu, pieces of cooked meat (which you have cooked in the slow cooker during the day or another time and have all ready in the fridge). Next, add any seasonal vegetables of your choosing and/or a can of diced tomatoes. I like to keep a bit of cooked squash and potatoes in the fridge so that I can use them during the week quickly. If you want to put uncooked squash or potatoes into your soup, then you will need to cut them up in small cubes and boil them in the soup for a bit. Greens like kale, chard, or collards, however, can be put in for a very short time, just prior to serving your soup. Don’t forget to add fresh or dried herbs and spices to your taste. (I like using curry and ginger and pepper in my soups.) Experiment and find out what works for you.

So many clients say that making soup feels too complicated. Once you try the “formula” above, make a mental note of what you liked and didn’t like about your soup. When you are pressed for time, a vegetable or two and a protein might be enough; when you have more food prep time or you are in the cooking “zone,” play around with different ingredients. Because I never use a recipe, my soups never come out the same twice. That keeps it interesting for my family and me. One of my favorite simple soups involves simply cooking French green lentils with onions, carrots, celery, coconut milk, curry and broth. Yum!

And don’t forget the grounding food with all that protein and vegetable. Serve soups with a cooked grain like rice or quinoa -- or add noodles, pour on top of a baked potato, or serve with a sweet potato or crusty bread. Now you have a yummy, warm, balanced meal. If you have the ingredients on hand, and you get the hang of it, you can make this meal up in about a half-hour.

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And how can I talk about autumn food without mentioning my favorite lesser-known secret about squash? Did you ever look at that big butternut squash and just not have the heart to take an ax to it? Well, you can cook any squash whole! Just poke a few holes in the squash with a sharp knife. Then, bake it whole at 375 degrees for about an hour, depending on the size of the squash. This is actually the best way to maintain all the nutrients in the squash as it cooks. Just cut through the soft cooked squash when it’s done (test it first with a skewer to make sure it’s really soft and cooked) and scoop out the seeds. Voila! Another easy meal can be made by stuffing squashes, once cooked and cut into halves, with whatever you have in your kitchen that can be warmed up and mixed together. Use cooked rice, cooked quinoa, chickpeas, walnuts or pecans, pieces of cooked chicken or turkey, tomatoes, brussels sprouts, or other seasonal vegetables. If you have children, they generally will like eating these “squash boats.” My daughters like getting down to the sweet acorn squash at the bottom of our boats.

I hope this gives you some seasonal inspiration for those short, dark, busy days of autumn and winter. Many of my clients are on the road to recovery from challenges with food. Creating nourishing, delicious meals helps all of us take good care of our bodies and souls. This doesn’t have to be elaborate or complicated or fancy. Warmth, seasonal produce, and a little dose of self-love go a very long way...

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Comfort and Joy

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Today both of my daughters were home sick from school. I cancelled my work for the day, slowed down, focused on comforting, and tried to dodge the bug that zoomed around the second grade as much as possible. One of my girls was sicker and needed to rest and the other was a bit activated; she was not well enough to go to school, but still with a fair amount of energy. So, she and I started the holiday granola gift production (after adequate hand-washing, of course). Her sister even joined in the fun eventually, sitting on the floor and shelling pistachios. The house soon smelled like cinnamon, maple, nutmeg, and orange zest. My girls were so delightfully invested in their shelling and measuring. The look on my daughter’s face when she used her hands to mix the warm sunflower oil and maple syrup with the oat and rye flakes was just delightful. “It’s soooo warm… This feels awesome.”

I thought about what a sensory experience it was to create food together like that. I thought about how blessed I was to have this break in my work schedule so that we could have moments together that reinforce the work that I do. Creating positive food memories and traditions like this one – and allowing the food to truly feed our senses (before we even take a bite of it) – makes me feel like I am actually practicing what I preach. I’ll admit to eating mindlessly sometimes, lunching while I check my email so that I barely taste my food. But today, in the kitchen with my sweet helpers, I experienced food the way I want to experience food, with all of my senses and with a sense of creativity and giving.

I have a feeling that this tradition will continue for years to come, and I plan to make time for it so that it can happen without needing a major illness to slow us down. My now-seven-year-old daughters may not want to help me in the kitchen with such gusto in the future, but I hope that the familiar smell of cinnamon, maple, nutmeg, and orange zest will bring a warm, sensory reminder that winter is here.

Here is the recipe, adapted from Shannon’s Kitchen, the blog of Farmers to You, a Vermont-based company that brings food from local farms to the greater Boston area. Just promise me that you will allow yourself to use your hands to mix the warm cinnamon-oil-maple-syrup mixture with the oats. My daughter was right; it really does feel awesome.

May all of your senses be fed this holiday season…

Recipe for Holiday Granola

4 cups rye flakes

3 cups rolled oats

1 cup unsweetened shredded coconut

1/3 cup sunflower oil

1/3 cup maple syrup

zest of one large orange

2 teaspoons cinnamon

½ teaspoon ground nutmeg

1 cup raw almonds

½ cup walnuts

½ cup shelled pistachios

1 cup raw pumpkin seeds (pepitas)

½ cup pecans

½ cup sunflower seeds

1 cup dried cranberries

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.

Wash the orange and zest the entire rind.

Put the sunflower oil and maple syrup on low heat. Add cinnamon, nutmeg, and orange zest.

When all the ingredients are well-combined, pour over the rye flakes, rolled oats, and shredded coconut. Stir well.

Put rye/oats mixture on 2 baking sheets and bake for 15-20 minutes. Open the oven, stir well and bake for another 15-20 minutes until golden brown. Time varies depending on your oven.

While the rye/oats are baking, roughly chop (or choose to leave whole) the nuts, seeds, and cranberries. Combine them all in a large bowl.

Once the oats/rye have cooled, combine with the rest of the ingredients and enjoy!

The green pistachios, green pepitas, and red cranberries look particularly festive for a holiday gift, but play with whatever ingredients you have at home. Ask yourself what yourfavorite granola would contain... Nourish yourself and the people you love. Serve over milk-of-choice or yogurt or just eat right out of the jar.