What is Embodied Living?

Embodiment Embodied Living

I often talk with clients about what it means to inhabit the body and to live in an embodied way. When our body says, “I’m tired,” and we take care of it with sleep — or “I’m hungry,” and we feed it, we are practicing embodied self-care. But what about the less-obvious ways that we connect to our bodies?

Sometimes when I’m in meditation — or simply engaging in life in a less harried way — my body feels like it’s been hit with a lightning bolt. Heat and energy rise up from my toes to my head and I feel a restlessness and a deep calm at the same time. I call this sensation Truth Rising.

Nourish Book Eating Disorders Awareness Week

I can choose to ignore Truth Rising and keep organizing my sock drawer, or I can stop, listen, and do what feels deep-down truthful in that moment. Sometimes I have to write (lots of times I have to write), sometimes I have to pray and wrestle with something deep in my soul, sometimes I have to do a really hard thing that I don’t want to do. 

Like confront someone. Or set a boundary on my time and energy. Or say “no.” Or say “yes.” Or dig deep down to that angry part of my soul that feels crusty and unpracticed and say something that is controversial but honors my heart and being.

Sometimes Truth Rising comes like gangbusters through my body. I honor it by listening to it, breathing through it, noticing what it is telling me, and making choices that respect it (and ultimately my soul). Sometimes I have to wait a bit to know what it’s saying to me and sometimes the time to act is Now.

Embodied Living

Have I ignored Truth Rising over my lifetime? Hell, yeah. Way more than I’d like to admit. It’s so darn easy when you’ve had good training in Truth Ignoring. In fact, I’ve been an overachiever in Truth Ignoring. The world teaches us to plod along and use our minds instead of our guts and soul-stirrings. Our brains are amazing parts of us, but I don’t think they are the clearest paths to our spirits.

As I tell my clients, embodied living sets you free and brings you closer to the life that you want to lead, whatever that life might be. When we feed ourselves well and get enough sleep, we create room for different communication from our bodies. The Truths we hold in our hearts and souls bring us to living a life that is naturally more loving and expansive.

In the moment, that Truth Rising sensation is about me and my truth, but it’s way more than just me. If I’m living in Truth, I’m doing so that others around me can live in theirs more closely, too. If we are parents, we feel those eyes on us, but all of us touch so many lives throughout any given day — or fail to touch them when we aren’t present. 

Inspiration Diet Wellness Non-Diet Weight Loss

Truth Rising is so incredibly and delightfully (sometimes scarily) contagious. I see it in the groups I facilitate and in the groups I participate in. When we live our lives more closely to Truth, then we live our lives larger and more connected — and have the individual and collective energy to make the world a better place.

All of this comes to us through our very own bodies. I described what Truth Rising feels like in my body, but I know it feels different in different bodies. There are so many ways to practice embodiment and to live our lives fully. But we don’t do this by trying to change our bodies or by ignoring their messages or controlling them. We do this by listening.

Acceptance in Recovery: Important Lessons from April

AcceptanceInRecoverySeedlingsTomato

April in New England this year has been particularly extreme. First it snowed, just as the crocus began to bloom. The snow melted, then it snowed again, knocking down the daffodils. Despite the intermittent frost and cold white blanket in these first weeks of April, the blossoms are still coming. The fragrant little grape hyacinths are dotting my yard this morning. The tomato and basil seedlings on my porch are stretching out to the sun. 

CrocusStrugglesEatingDisorderRecovery

I was thinking today that this year’s Spring is a little like recovery. My clients struggle with disordered eating, so that’s my frame of reference, but I suppose recovery from anything can feel like the fits and starts of this season. 

One of my Non-Diet Book Clubs is reading Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach. Acceptance is one of those harder parts of recovery work, but it’s essential. When we bring mindful acceptance to our experience, we notice our feelings and thoughts without judgement or without trying to push them away. Easier said than done. I personally find it hard to notice unpleasant feelings without judging, analyzing, or trying to explain them away. This is a challenging concept to grasp, never mind to practice. 

Many of you have heard about one framework from which I work with my clients: Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). In some ways, acceptance is not the best word to use. Clients often mistakenly think it means putting up with, giving in to, or tolerating things that are difficult or challenging. Acceptance is not about complacency, and it’s certainly not an excuse to do nothing on the path to our goals. Instead of putting up with or giving in to our negative thoughts or feelings, we can accept them by dropping the struggle with them — simply giving space for the thoughts and feelings to arise. We notice our feelings and thoughts, but we don’t need to react to them. ACT terms for acceptance work include “expand around it,” “make room for it,” “let it freely flow through you,” “breathe into it,” or in the words of the Beatles, “let it be.” 

AcceptanceAndCommitmentShootsAndSnow

We don’t need to sit on a meditation cushion or yoga mat in order to practice acceptance. Acceptance happens any moment that you bring your attention to your thoughts and feelings, really notice them, and open up to the fact that you are a human being with those thoughts and feelings. You can choose to respond to them or not. You can choose to express them or not. But you don’t try to judge them or push them away. 

So many of us use food — either the withholding of it or the overindulging on it — to manage feelings that we think we can’t handle. 

ForsythiaInSnowRecoveryFromDisorderedEating

Instead, can we notice our hunger sensations, notice our cravings, and notice how full we are in any given moment? Can we accept these as our experience, even if the feelings in our bodies and minds are occasionally unpleasant? 

Can we notice that we feel angry at someone, but we’re choosing to take it out on ourselves by not eating instead of confronting that person? 

Can we notice how much we crave a certain food, and how much of this is about mouth hunger or emotional hunger and not stomach hunger? 

Can we notice feeling numb when we come home from work and just start eating, and admit that we’d rather eat and feel numb than ruminate over and over the stress from the day? Can we just notice this, without judgement? 

SnowDropsAcceptanceEatingDisorderRecovery

These are just some of the questions that can take some time to explore and form the foundation for the profound work done by my clients. This is not about an external diet or person telling them how to eat; this is deep listening to oneself and opening to experience so that clear choices can be made. 

One important addition: noticing without judgement does not mean that we don’t also want to change our behaviors!  Maybe we don’t like that after-work, mind-numbing eating. Maybe we don’t like what food restriction in the service of avoiding anger is doing to our health and energy. Can we non-judgmentally notice these behaviors and acknowledge them as doing our best to deal with painful thoughts and feelings in the moment? Yes, we want to learn new strategies for dealing with stress, anger, frustration, loneliness. 

CrocusInSnowMindfulIntuitiveEating

There’s one very important concept here. (If you take only one thing home from this blog post, I secretly hope it’s this…) Finding new ways to cope and deal with difficult thoughts and feelings will not happen by trying to avoid or push them away. Just ask yourself if this has worked for you in the past…? Avoidance and automatic pilot go hand in hand. Acceptance of what is really happening inside in the present moment is the anecdote. When you can really drop into what is being felt or thought and observe it — and this takes a lot of practice! — you open up the freedom to make choices. You can choose to call a friend when you are feeling lonely, express feelings through writing, choose a snack that makes you feel satisfied and vital when desiring some food, and make other choices that move you towards recovery and the person that you want to be. 

CrocusIntuitiveEating

Recovery from disordered or dysregulated eating — and coming to peace with your body and self — is an ever-evolving process, and it doesn’t stop when you find yourself eating better. Like a flowering bush that needs pruning each year to realize it’s fullest bloom, we are constantly welcoming in the new discoveries about ourselves, as we let old patterns and habits that don’t serve us go. We can appreciate both our petals and our protective thorns. We are human and not perfect, and each of us are one of a kind.

What are the seeds that you are sowing this Spring? What is blossoming within you? What kind of flower are you growing into? What kind of life and person are you wanting to be? Every day, despite the frost, darkness, and other challenging conditions, we strive to blossom and become who we are. In fact, those challenging conditions are part of what makes us like a strong, resilient plant. This Spring, nurture and feed your soul and senses. Provide fertile, nutritious soil and plenty of water. Take good care of the seedling parts of you that long for the sun. 

SeedlingTomatoesMindfulEating

One of my favorite quotes is from Georgia O’Keefe, also a favorite artist. “Nobody sees a flower, really -- it's so small -- we haven't time, and to see takes time…” Take time to fully recover and develop a healthy relationship with food, your body, and your self. Get to know yourself and your uniqueness. Get to know what makes you feel alive and bring that aliveness out into the world. Allow yourself a full range of feelings and notice them all. Take time. Slow down whenever you can to check in with yourself and bring awareness to those feelings, even the hard ones— the ones that we tend to want to avoid or pretend aren’t a part of our experience. 

GrowingSeedlingsMindfulEating

I have to accept that April in New England is a little back and forth. I arm myself with a good warm scarf, lots of layers that I can peel off, and plant little sprouts on my sun porch to remind me that the sunnier side of Spring is coming. I emerge from the in-breath of winter, and breath out a blog post for the first time in awhile. My winter writing is more introspective and I don’t share so much of it. Today I accept and publish for you the imperfect combination of words here to describe this human’s experience of Spring and my work in it. I am grateful for the work with all of you — in person and on-line — that helps me feel the connectedness of all things. 

As I tend to my little seedlings, taking them inside when the porch gets below freezing at night, I imagine all the seeds being sown in the hearts and minds of humans all over, in all kinds of conditions, this Spring. I accept the cold temperatures, even though I don’t particularly like them.  I accept that I have to wait until the soil is warmer to put my plants into the ground. It’s another cold April in New England. The hard stuff in life is part of it all.